Late Night Conversations™: Letting Go

[edited slightly to be more readable]

Not Me:
Coincidentally, this is one of the reasons I've always been shy about the idea of pushing boundaries, pushing limits. I should think the best environment for letting go is one that is at all levels completely safe and comfortable, where you can know without question, or hesitation, where you can really feel that you won't ever be put in a place where you don't want to be, so you can surrender that need to protect yourself more comfortably. Do you have thoughts about that?

Me:
I think that the idea you describe is partly (partly, mind you) an illusion. No matter how well-meaning others are, and no matter how much they love you, they will sometimes push you too far, or in the wrong direction, or say something wrong. In that sense, there is no such thing as a completely safe environment. I have said things which unintentionally set you off before, but you feel no less safe with me.

The point being that safety is not really about being safe. Surrendering that need to protect yourself comes when you feel comfortable enough with your ability to communicate your needs. Because the whole point of lowering those barriers isn't that there is some guarantee you won't be hurt. It's the slow (as slow as it needs to be) process of realizing that hurt happens and what's important is that we are with people who listen to us when we say "hey, that hurt," people who will respond to our needs, try to help us and help themselves.

So I guess what I'm saying is that yes, in part one should of course do one's best to safeguard the environment in which one does this sort of work. But there is a cliff of uncertainty no matter what, and I posit that instead of only coming up to the edge and stopping and remaining completely safe, one should, when one is ready, bungee jump. Because that is how we grow.

Late Night Conversations™: memory fingerprints

me: I mean one day there will be technology that can hook up to your brain, and algorithms that can translate feelings
maybe
it would be cool
D: Theoretically, once we sufficiently understand the workings of the brain, thoughts and feelings and such should be able to be depicted as a set of neural impulses.
Probably unique to each individual, but still, predictable.
Each brain forming independently, developing unique pathways, and all that.
me: imagine that instead of an iris scan, we had people think of a certain memory, and the reading of that would be their fingerprint
crazy! and also impossible to fake
since no one experiences the same thing the same way
D: Indeed. You couldn't even fake it by memorizing an identical memory, even if that were possible, because the pathways would be different, too.
me: yep
D: Double-secure.
It's an interesting thought. I hadn't considered that possibility, though I should have. It's remarkably simple.
me: the only setback is that you'd have to account for the settling of the memory within the mind
settling like a house settles
D: Yeah, brains have a way of getting fuzzy over time.
me: they make things stark
archetypes
idealization
D: Sometimes that. Sometimes the "peaks" emerge as the whole thing recedes.
me: well if a memory becomes like a fingerprint you would be bringing it back to mind a lot
which means that eventually you would come up with a polished memory
D: Indeed, and it should hold more true.
me: something like a stone you can take out of your pocket
or a favorite story